Wednesday, December 10, 2008

What Happens When You Ask for Blog Advice?

You end up writing about poop. At least if you ask for blog advice from LisaLoveLoca. I'm sitting at my computer right now with TOO many blog posts in my head and nothing written. I've got ideas aplenty and zero focus. So, I ask LLL, "What would LLL do?". And she said "poop". And since I am feeling frivolous and silly, poop it is.

So, what can I say about poop? Well, number one (er, number two?) we all do it. We might do it a little differently and more frequently in Mexico though, especially if we haven't been taking our acidophilous. Ahem. (Yeah, I knew this would get messy). The softness of toilet paper was never much of an issue back in Canada, but here I find myself squeezing the Charmin, the derriere must be treated with kid gloves in the land of hot salsa. I think I've come to the point where I can identify the bacteria or virus or parasite by the characteristics of the poop, and I can self-medicate accordingly, may the goddess bless the pharmacy system in Mexico.

Having a kid has changed my attitude about poop too. I am no longer repulsed by the idea of being near someone else's poop. I recall several fantastic baby poops that I wish I had pictures of, the colours were outstanding. Several times since having a child, I've actually had my hands full of someone else's poop and I didn't even throw up! I know that Max was testing me, pushing me for a reaction when he pooped in my hand, but I wasn't going to give him the satisfaction, sorry buddy, no gagging from mommy today no matter how funny you think it is! I will admit that I am very pleased to not be dealing with poopy diapers any more, now it's just bum wiping or skid mark cleaning, my child poop contact has diminished immensely. Max will occasionally call for me to check out an incredible poop but who hasn't wanted to show off a particularly impressive movement?

Aside from my poop and kid poop, we've got lots of other poop in the house. Lizard poop is pervasive, looks like little raisins and can be found just about everywhere. Cat poop, oooof, got that too. With two regular cats and one guest cat, the litter box is a constant source of joy for me (NOT). I'm trying to keep guest kitty out of the house right now, for a little lady her poop packs a powerful punch (man I love me some alliteration!). Dog poop can be found in our garden, as well as larger lizard poop, perhaps the poop of an iguana. This morning I found poop on my car, I'm convinced it's bat poop, it's a different colour and consistency than most bird poop and I know the bats swoop around out there at night. I guess I need a poop CSI to come in and run it through the mass spectrometer.

So, there you have it, the post you get when you ask LisaLoveLoca for blog advice and stimulation. Poop, poop and poop. I guess you could say I am just a little full of shit today, but let me remind you, it was my shithead friend that started me on this movement. I guess LLL is working as my bloggy Ex-Lax today. At least she got the juices flowing!

***all apologies to anyone who was offended by the nature of this post. I place all responsibility directly on LLL and will direct any complaints to her, thank you very much.


K.W. Michigan said...

Well I'm so glad you got that out of your system (HA)! Reminds me of Wayne's past post when he was trying to hit the cup! The beachy posts are much more to my liking!

Nancy said...

You probably also have to wash down walls every so often from streaks of gecko poop! I know I do.

Anonymous said...

Not the first time someone blamed shit on me... ba da bum!

Not anymore said...

The ads that showed up with your blog today are.. outstanding. First I'd like to say that I love your word usage in describing the baby's color of poop, outstanding! It is a .....very proud word, and quite entertaining. Now to the ads that appeared here on your bog. Adult diapers... Want toilet training help? Toilet paper manufacturers... lol . funny huh.

My Way said...

Although I do love blaming shit on Lisa, I think you are responsible for your own crap. I mean, unless your a baby or a pup, you really should accept responsibility for your own fecal matter.

Now that we have that caca out of the woods, thanks for taking the poop out of my appetite!

Brice said...

I got halfway through this post before having to pause for the cause.
There's something inspiring in the way you write! hahaha

Kathy said...

I can't even BEGIN to tell you how OFFENDED I am at this post! HMPH!

(oops, I have 4 kids. I can't even feign offense. :))

Gary Denness said...

Cor blimey! Well let me tell you, I have to deal with the poop of ten turtles, which positively stinks! At least it's all contained within a couple of aquariums though!

Anonymous said...

Offended?...How about HIGHLY AMUSED? Hee Hee!

You do have a way with words, girl. That was a great post!

Anonymous said...

You crack me up!!!!! -trina in idaho

Anonymous said...

What a pile of shit. (hee hee)

CancunCanuck said...

K.W.- I think I needed a silly post, you're right, it's out of my system, teehee. Returning to beachy posts soon, promise!

Nancy- Oh yes, the gecko poo on the walls is just lovely, isn't it? I find little gecko poops on my towels every morning, I guess they like to hover over the towel rack.

LLL- Ba dum ching! I'll try to make this the last thing I blame on you, unless it's a hangover or a wicked sore body from poi spinning. :)

PuertoVallartaGirl- LOL, funny! I do love the word "outstanding", though perhaps this is the first time I've used it in context with poop. ;-)

My Way- Ok, ok, I'll take 75% responsibility. It was my fingers on the keyboard afterall, but she made me click "post", screaming "DO IT!", lol!

Brice- Hope everything came out ok. ;-)

Kathy- Teehee, I think anyone with kids is pretty accustomed to taking a lot of shit. Four of them? Yep, you've had more than your fair share.

Gary- Ew, turtle poop! I remember our turtle tank stinking pretty bad as kids but as you say, it is all contained. BTW, love the expression "cor blimey", makes me think of reading a British comic when I was a kid called "Cor!". My very English great grandmother was quite fond of that expression too, thanks for the flashback.

Sandye- Thanks amiga, I was unsure whether to post this or not, but I thought I might amuse somebody, glad you fall into that bunch.

Trina- Yay, made someone laugh, my day is complete. Glad you got a giggle.

Heatherinparadise- Teehee, I am usually quite full of shit, this post is just a little shitty slice of my life.

Islaholic Trixie said...

Reminds me of the time I gave youngest son too much Extra Strength ExLax!! Our bathroom looked like a poop bomb had gone off!! I didn't know so much poop could come out of a 5 year old (at that time). We still laugh about it to this day and it makes a great girlfriend story!

3LittleFlowers said...

OMG!!! This is too funny!!!!!

Just a few days ago (last Saturday), I was at my cousin's house and we were talking about poo. My brother and I used to "save" the poo in the toilet to show it to my mom... It was hillarius and we were talking about it cause my cousin was remembering one time that she came from out of town to my house and wanted to pee so bad... When she was going to the bathroom, my brother ran to her and almost slap her because she was going to flush his poo without my mom's permision!!! We really had a good laugh!!!! LMAO!!!!!!!!!!!

3LittleFlowers said...

BTW, you need to read Susan's blog from December 6th...

Fned said...

Sorry girl, you lost me somewhere along the way. Guess it's my fault I started reading while I was munching on my sandwich during my lunch break.

I mean, you DID warn us!


CancunCanuck said...

Trixie- Oh no, Exlax emergency! Funny now, but you were probably weren't laughing then. :)

Momto3- Oh man, saving it for your mom? I bet she was thrilled, lol!

Fned- Ooops, sorry about your lunch, my bad. :)

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