Sunday, August 8, 2010

He's Lucky He's Cute

I've been looking at old baby pics of Max recently, fondly remembering the days when he hadn't yet begun to talk. Pining for those days actually. Yearning. Clicking my heels together and closing my eyes and chanting, wishing for a time machine to go back to the days of relative silence. Oh sure, babies cry, but that's easy compared to what we're dealing with now. I'll take a full-on baby screaming, crying, trying everything-but don't-know-what-to-do day over the CONSTANT questions, chatter, demands, complaints, tantrums and Michael Jackson songs that we're experiencing now. In two languages no less, sometimes three.

"Remember mommy? In English we say "blue", in Spanish we say "azul' and in French it's "bleu". How do you say "blue" in Maya? In Chinese? In Italian? I have a friend, remember? His name is Raoul, he's teaching me Italian. I don't know Chinese but I think you say "buh". Remember? I like Chinese food. Can we get a whale shark in the house? I'd feed it! Grandpa got bit by a crab, remember? I love you mommy. I'm not your friend EVER mommy. Leave me alone! Come here NOW! Mooooommmmmmmy, can I have some milk please? I SAID I WANT MILK! Where's my shoe? How come? Why? How come? Why? I don't want to eat more, I am full, but can I have some ice cream? My tummy hurts, I don't want to go to school, can we go to a cenote? My tummy doesn't hurt in cenotes. Remember when I was four and my tummy hurt and I died? And there was blood everywhere! Can I have more salsa, I want it hotter. That's too hot, you burned my tongue with the salsa on purpose! FINE, just forget it, just forget about it mommy, just forget it."

And that was just one morning before school. The kid can TALK. And talk and talk and talk. Everything he says to me in English he repeats for his daddy in Spanish so we get double the chatter, double the fun. Or, he'll say something rude to his father in Spanish and I will reprimand him and he'll turn like a fury with "I wasn't talking to YOU, I was talking in Spanish, don't listen!" I picked him up from his summer course the other day and the teacher said "Max es muy lindo, muy, muy, muy lindo., TREMENDO, un pingo, puede hablar y hablar y hablar" (Max is very cute, very, very, very cute. But, oy, TREMENDOUS, a mischief maker, he can talk and talk and talk.) The teachers complain about his behaviour, he has a strong will to do his own thing, but then they pat him on the head, give him a kiss and say "Ay, pero es mi Maxito, mi Maxie precioso" (Ah, but he's my Maxito, my precious Maxie). This is going to cause us no end of trouble I am sure! Dennis the Menace got away with a lot and he wasn't even close to being as (deceptively) charming as Max.

Now don't get me wrong, I love the kid more than anything on the planet, but it's exhausting to be his mom! He'll be getting ready for bed, blathering on and on and on, lay down, still talking, pull the sheet up, still talking and he'll continue talking for the first few minutes of sleep. Heck, he talks IN his sleep! At this point a moment of silence means that something is seriously wrong. He's got the scissors and is cutting his hair in the bathroom. He's putting clothes on the cat. He's putting on eyeliner so he can be like Michael. He's "fixing" the toilet. As much as the chatter can grate, it's the silence that brings the fear.

I find myself apologizing to people at times for his behaviour, but they always say, "Ahhh, no te preocupes, es un niƱo! Y tiene mucha energia y salud, gracias a dios." ("Ah, don't you worry, he's a boy! And he has a lot of energy and health, thank god".) And this is so very true. So every time I am at the point of pulling out my hair I think of all the children who are not healthy, those who do not have boundless energy because they lack food and water, those who do not chatter incessantly about the world as they have had little to no education. And I think of parents who have lost their children (I don't think I can even imagine their pain). And I am grateful. And my exasperation fades away. And I give Max a big ole hug and a kiss and tell him that I am the luckiest woman in the world. And he responds "Yeah, I know, now leave me alone, you're squishing me and you're sweaty!".....He's lucky he's cute.....


Linda said...

This blog gave me a good chuckle!!! Kids are the greatest!!!

I'm with you on the sudden silence, though! Also, when you get on the phone, it's like a license for them to get into something!!!

Isla Chica

KfromMichigan said...

Yep he is cute! And a boy! Good luck amiga! and welcome back.

Dr George Leddick said...

Verbal ability is the greatest predictor of intelligence! So you should blame the smart member of your family for this "problem".

Refried Dreamer said...

thank you for this post. My travieso isn't the only one. :)

Anonymous said...

Cute post! Your Max sure does sound like a handful

ElleCancun said...

Awesome post!!

I have no children, but I do have a nephew here who is 5 years old and same story (mas o menos)!!!

I look up to all you moms out there.... I know my 4 brothers and I gave our parents a run for their money!!

Always can make great contraception! LOL!!!

No matter what, I want one soooooo bad.

Heather said...

I was laughing the whole time and agreeing he is cute and then your last paragraph got me. So true!

Fned said...

Great post amiga! I dont't have kids and don't know if it's in the starts for us yet, but reading your post about Max made me feel relieved and nostalgice at the same time!!!

If there is one thing I'm pretty sure of is that Max is and will continue to grow up to be an interesting person and that is at the end of the day what I imagine every parent wants for his/her child!

Bon courage mon amie!!

CancunCanuck said...

Linda- One would think we would relish the silence, but alas, it's the most dangerous time of all, haha! And seriously, what's with the phone thing? Dial and wham, the volume goes up ten decibels! (Thanks for stopping by!)

KfromMichigan- Thanks amiga, such a BOY. :)

Dr. George- Hmm, still looking for that smart member of the family to blame (snicker). You're not the first to say that it's a sign of intelligence, unfortunately I know that intelligent kids cause their parents the most grief sometimes. I'll take it though, in the hopes that one day perhaps he will be a doctor and take care of me in my old age! :)

Refried- Thank god I am not alone! The traviesos are everywhere apparently, heehee.

Ashlied- A handful, basketful, stadium-ful of trouble! ;-)

On Mexican Time- Four brothers and you? Yikes, your poor mom, haha! And heck yeah, other people's kids are definitely the best contraception! Have you seen the website "Shit my kid's ruined?" If that doesn't put you off kids, nothing will! :)

Heather- It's all about the "big picture". If I only focus on my little pingo, I'll go nuts, if I look at it from a world perspective, I realize that we are lucky lucky lucky. Keeps my feet on the ground (and my hands out of the Valium bottle, haha!)

Fned- Hola amiga, bonjour, bonjour! Interesting and unique are two things I want Max to be. When I tell him he is "weird", I mean it as a total compliment! "Normal" is a really boring place to be. Gracias/merci, so lovely to see you here! (I've been a bad, bad blogger these last few months, my apologies!)

Rosas Clan in Tulum said...

You ar right- that is the best way to think about it. I am going to try to reflect on that when I am too the point of losing it.

I always give my kids a hard time when they are being extra crazy and off the wall- jokingly telling them that God made them cute for a reason.

D is for Dengue, Depression and Dread

I'm currently sitting in my Cancun apartment, staving off the Covid 19 panic and using all my Jungle Kelly powers to maintain my cal...