Tuesday, May 17, 2011


I've never had a whole lot of luck having girlfriends. Friends with girls. My best friend was always best friends with somebody else. I always felt on the outside looking in to tight female relationships. It's only in the last couple of years that I have developed what I think are strong, positive friendships with women where I don't feel on the outside, where I feel love for them and loved in return. In some part I owe these relationships to blogging, the women that I feel close to are writers and creative and free spirits living a different sort of life.

In separating from Hubby I have had to suck up my feelings of dread of leaning on anyone and have reached out to some spectacular women. I am completely overwhelmed by the support and love I have received, and really just need to shout it out. All these great chicks are going through their own stuff, struggling through and yet they take the time to lift me up, make me vomit laughing and take me out to sing and dance with abandon (sometimes accompanied by various alcoholic drinks). Some of them are lifting me up through chat, distance doesn't matter, we laugh and cry and physical proximity doesn't even seem to exist, the emotional closeness is kind of ridiculous actually. Others kick me in the ass, curse with me when I need to curse and call up Max just to say "Hey dude, what's up? Listen to your mom, eh?" (in my best Minnesota accent). And yet other friends just go to crazy extremes to entertain me, you know who you are and those extremes are best left in the vault, bless your heart.

I feel fortunate. I may be forty but I am finally discovering the joy of female friendship and it couldn't have come at a better time. Kudos to all you rocking women out there who stand by your friends, wipe tears, kick asses, bring beers, rub backs, chat endlessly about nothing, share wicked chick songs, send silly cat links, curse and swear, bring apples, and basically let your friends know that you care. I am so incredibly lucky to finally know how cool chicks really are. Thanks ladies, you know who you are.


Amanda said...

I'm glad you've found your girlfriends - I'm still searching for mine. :)

Anonymous said...

I'm so happy you have that support there for you, hun. :) It's times like these that we know who our true friends are.

Saying that, I don't really have many friends that are girls. Most of mine are guys. One of my closest friends is female but that's about it. Ha! Maybe one day I'll be ready for the all-girl gang. Haha.



Cameo said...

I had my sister, someone who was literally always there, one mile away from me. We spent every damn day together and then would talk on the phone in the evening to see what we had been up to the last 2 hours of the day that we had spent with our husbands and kids. She was literally the first one I talked to in the morning (she'd wake me up with a phone call) and other than my husband and I telling each other I love you in bed, the last one I spoke to at night. We didn't even have to speak, we could be talking about something and one word would jog our memory about something competely different but we would both know the other was thinking of it too.

She died of cancer 16 months ago and there is not one second of one minute of one hour of one day of one week of one month that I'm not missing her or not thinking of her.

That said, it has been my 2 girlfriends who have helped me. When I needed space they gave it to me and yet were always there when I was ready to talk again, days, sometimes weeks, later. One of them I've had since I was 17 (so for 16 years) and the other for 4 1/2 years. They are the most amazing friends and for someone like me (do something to hurt me, I will never forget and only rarely give someone a second chance) who is hard to get through to, they have made their way into more than my "inner circle", they are my family.

KfromMichigan said...

If you find one or two .. hold on to them. They are hard to find. I've lost mine because of the last two years taking care of my Mom they have fallen out of touch. I guess they weren't really friends after all! Being an only child life is tough, but I keep my chin up. (or at least I try)

Anonymous said...

I have lots of girlfriends. But only a few who are totally there for me when I need them. I admit that is in part because I don't ask my GFs for support very often.
So like K said "hold onto them".

CancunCanuck said...

Amanda- It has taken me a long time, but when they come, it's worth it. :)

notinthepink- I survived my twenties and thirties with male friends (heck my teen years too), this is new to me and exciting and cool and scary. Just hoping the bubble doesn't burst, but for now, I am really enjoying the estrogen ride. :D

Cameo- You are so incredibly fortunate to have had that amazing relationship with your sister, I am glad you have good friends to help you through. They ARE family!

KfromMichigan- Why is it so hard for women to find good women friends? Please keep your chin up, reach out even to online friends, they have great value. Hugs!

Jackie- You are lucky to have lots of girlfriends! I think very few people have a LOT of good friends, good friends are a small circle and we need to learn to trust and reach out. Easier said than done, I KNOW! :)

Mic said...

I'm so glad to have gotten to know you thru this blog. You have many more girlfriends that care than you know :-)

CancunCanuck said...

Thanks Mic, that's really sweet. :)

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